{"values":"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand."}
{"values":"You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education."}
{"values":"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck."}
{"values":"Redneck tech support: ‘Did you try hitting it with a hammer?’"}
{"values":"If your idea of a romantic evening involves a pickup truck and a starry night, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"If you’ve ever financed a tattoo, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever used your ironing board as a buffet table."}
{"values":"Redneck rule of thumb: if it’s got wheels, it’s a vehicle; if it’s stationary, it’s a target."}
{"values":"You might be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture."}
{"values":"If your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"You might be a redneck if your idea of high-quality entertainment is a bug zapper and a lawn chair."}
{"values":"You might be a redneck if your home security system is a mean dog and a shotgun."}
{"values":"If you’ve ever used a fishing license as a form of ID, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"Redneck air conditioning: two fans and a garden hose."}
{"values":"If you’ve ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"If you’ve ever used a fishing pole to hang your laundry, you might be a redneck."}
{"values":"You might be a redneck if your idea of a spa day is soaking in a kiddie pool."}